Offering Luminaries A Place to Cultivate
Enjoy A Little Peace & Ease
While on Your Journey to Become
Who You are Meant to Be....
I have been laboring for a few years now to find my full authentic voice. This journey has not been about finding a way to move from whispered tones to an elevated resonance. But rather I have been searching for the essence of how I share my strength of character with the world. Having been employed in a conventional setting since 1991 the voice I seem to be using now belongs to the culture by where I earn my living.
I recall when I stepped up the ladder into a leadership position my pattern of speech changed.
I talked slower- not because my mind had slowed down- rather I was searching for the correct word. It was like I was rustling through my lego box to find the best lego to build my message.
During the first few years, in leadership, I noticed the switch between my normal word choices and the words of a supervisor. My vocabulary was being coached based on a union contract. This message of what we are allowed to say or not say to solve a problem emerges as a checklist of approved terms of reference. Each institution has a different syntax, but the ethos is almost always the same.
I had a mirror moment during my leadership transformation. It came from watching my supervisor. He stuttered when we had a conversation, even a casual one. He was searching for his words every time we spoke. Today, I catch myself matching this same staccato cadence, reaching for the best word to describe the situation at hand; being sure to not overstep the language line.
I have learned my lessons about speaking my mind at the moment. These experiences burned in memory as I spoke with honesty and direction. It was as if I instantly felt a heavy-handed smite fall across my cheek. I would guess if you supervise anyone at any level you could share a similar story and likely wear the battle scars of using your authentic voice.
My deep question is… Does work demand that we lose our souls message and character? I want to believe that I am not required to make this sacrifice, even though I have elected to follow this route.
Today— I am wondering how do I let go of my tightened voice box and talk with ease in meetings without fear of recourse? Perhaps I might never discover the answer. But what I do know is that I am keenly aware how the concern about how I use my voice has changed my internal dialog and perhaps my self-confidence.
Watching Hollywood portray bosses- with the I can say anything stories- makes me laugh at the ludicrousness of it all. I am not suggesting that I desire to be disrespectful. But this new trend to only use the language of passive leadership takes away our individuality and our ability to speak with sincerity at the moment.
At the very least my soul is asking me to notice how the energy of language impacts my daily life. Questioning if fear is part of my languages character. Then leading me to question if I am by default living a fearful life.
Perhaps this is why my desire for freedom of using my voice is rising from deep within my cells.
If I can offer any peace and ease, perhaps as we close down this year and move into the next, we can with openness listen to our internal rumblings. I find they are always messages of growth and enlightenment.
I know for me—At the very least I am going to be mindful about using language that only matches my work culture, not my hearts' full intention.
Now Your Share:
I am curious in what ways do you feel your voice is not fully expressed or heard? When do you find yourself not editing yourself? When do you find yourself editing your words the most?
As always, I very much want to hear from you… it is the gift that keeps giving to my heart all year long (grin)!
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