Offering Luminaries A Place to Cultivate
Enjoy A Little Peace & Ease
While on Your Journey to Become
Who You are Meant to Be....
My days of January have already flown by with the requisite number of stress filled moments. Most of my seconds have been occupied by overwhelm and frustration. A regular occurrence I imagine for one who manages others for their livelihood.
It is the second week of a new year, and already the resolution to drink enough water and get up from my chair at least every half hour, is now a long lost promise. Hopes of this year being whatever I had filled into my blank journal space—is loosing air.
I found myself Saturday, very early in the morning, waking with my mind fixed on solving this past weeks problems. My heart was racing and it was as if I could feel the adrenaline cocktail mix dump into my life-giving blood stream.
Nonetheless, I have vowed to myself that I must change my striving habit. Largely, because I have been feeling that my days have started their count down. I never thought like this during my thirties or early forties when each day seemed endless, as I committed to my quest for getting it right—climbing the ladder.
Recently, I am left questioning my decades of commitment. If I continue this practice of limited self care and disconnection from inner peace, I wonder what will my older soul recall about my days of seeking? If today is a peek into my futures last moments— I am concerned.
If we were drinking tea, getting to know one another and you asked me what drives my life passion- I would recant without skipping a breath— making a measurable difference in the world. This is my well oiled elevator speech always ready for official office talk, and now it appears to have merged into my personal definition of life.
Yet, as I look for deeper meaning, I realize that I would rather my passion be a true commitment to calming my mind. To finding measurable joy and fulfillment in the little things, and finally embracing this place that I have arrived. This climb has been steep, and I feel weak and tired, even with the pride I feel having offered my souls gifts to many.
Emerging quietly is a question I need to answer to support a real shift: what offers true fulfillment, my work or my life?
In todays restful place, with my washer finishing the last load of laundry, dog sitting next to me hoping to be granted a treat, an computer on my lap, apple music playing in my headphones, warm house in negative degree temperatures, kitchen full of organic food, two new books sitting on my night stand ready to share their ideas, contentment hits me squarely between the eyes.
This is the real reason I work- a real commitment to something grand, my personal desire for simplicity.
I plan in 2018 to turn my attention to nurturing and nourishing the little gifts. The grace, warmth and security I already have achieved, instead of striving for more. This brave act— to feel content, blessed and grateful in my moments. My future self is already jumping for joy.
Perhaps by reaching for life lived up close to my simple moments, I will find more of what I desire, as compared to what I ever found in striving.
What little moments have you looked over, as you reached for success? What is one way that you can show up and appreciate where you are now? What is your current commitment you make to your future self?
Please share your thoughts or renewed commitments below. I very much want to hear from you.
In forever gratitude to you for your time spent reading my thoughts.
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