Offering Luminaries A Place to Cultivate
Enjoy A Little Peace & Ease
While on Your Journey to Become
Who You are Meant to Be....
I have gotten lost in a new song over the last four days. Actually, it is not just the song but a television show that turned me on to the song. Let me explain, this weekend I stumbled across an HBO series called Enlightened, they were featuring it for 99 cents per episode on iTunes. I watched the pilot and was hooked. I started it saturday night and was finished with the entire series by sunday evening.
The song is Human of the Year by Regina Spektor. I have put it on repeat on my iPhone and listened to it in my car, while getting ready for work, in my office, even walking out of the building to go home. I like the song, but it is more than the words, it is the joyful feeling that comes from the context in which I discovered the song.
In this TV show the main character has just returned from a rehabilitation experience for anger issues, on her last day she was swimming in the ocean and a large turtle appeared and seemed to be swimming with her in a dance under water. You could feel through the TV screen that this was a very spiritual experience. The episode then continues on with her flying home, moving in with her mom, still feeling as connected to bliss and divinity as she did during her retreat. Smiles, laughter and fear far from her mind. At the end of the first episode, she is dressed in a bright yellow dress, going back to the workplace with the expectation of getting a job that was equal to the one she left and ultimately making a change for the good of all man kind. As she loads herself onto the elevator, full of hope, she looks up at the light fixture that casts a underwater image across everyone in the elevator, but she is the only one to notice. The song starts to play as she smiles and drifts back into her memory of the ultimate connection she had with the divine spirit or the turtle which ever way you care to look at it. All the joy, all the positive potential hangs in the air, she is expecting the best.
I share this, as a way to explain why this song has been playing non stop on any device I can find, not to mention the replay in my head. I too find myself pulling back and looking at my life as if it was a movie and this song right now is my sound track.
In this moment I now seem to be assessing my perceived potential, my happiness, my willingness to smile and believe in and expect the best. In addition, this unanticipated experience has me looking more closely at my life, my work and the people in it; all with fresh eyes even though nothing has changed on the outside. I recall yesterday, sitting at the stop light looking at the people moving through the cross walk, I imagined it was a scene from my movie, wondering how these people were playing supporting roles. Then sitting outside my apartment, talking on the phone, two cyclists were riding down the street, and passed a man in an electronic wheel chair. The guy on the left was needing to turn right and the guy in the right was going straight. The two cyclist ran into each other, but recovered without falling. It was almost like watching it in slow motion, as they both held each other up, and the guy in the wheel chair was clueless that this was happening just to the right of his forward vision. Cue in the music and voice over.
There is a line in this song that says something like- although they do not know it, all man kind are now your brothers. I might on an average day agree with this idea on a philosophical level, but generally it is a hard concept to grasp. But that changes if instead I think about how all mankind is playing parts in the movie I am directing. This casting of supporting characters, ever present and unfolding based on my thoughts, feelings, reactions and my personal minute by minute emotion.
What about you- with you as your main character- what is the theme of your movie–Happy, sad, horror? To answer this for myself based on what I would perceive others would say if they where watching my movie, they might think I have a privileged easy life, and perhaps label it a dull drama.
But what I think the point for me right now is that— I love to watch comedies, love love love them. I like to laugh a lot and I do this most nights with my husband. I am a goofy. But honestly, my life movie does not look like a comedy. If this is what I enjoy, why is this not reflected in my moving picture show?
I sadly noticed yesterday the only time I laughed was as I was leaving the parking lot after work. I was listening to my messages, with the “song” still playing in my head, reflecting on how lucky I am to have two great sisters, both who had left voice mail. One of the messages that made me laugh out loud went something like this- I am going home sick, I am bloated with gas, it is really painful- as she lists the foods she ate, its a sister thing I believe. Then her final statement is what made me laugh- can dried apricots give you gas?
I thought about how wonderful that question was, how human it was, how special my life is that I have wonderful connections with people, who would ask me if dried fruit can give someone gas. Just as an aside, I read health information as a hobby and work in the healthcare world, so this question is not as odd as if I happened to be an accountant. I digress.
I drove home with my soundtrack music blaring, thinking about my day and my disconnected moments seemed to tally and skew towards the top end of the bell curve, earning an A+. My connected moments earned less than a passing grade.
Maybe I can begin right now to rewrite my script to include more impromptu moments filled with laugher, joy and bliss. Although my movie is about over for today, and I have not written the scenes for tomorrows cast; my question is– how will all the special guest stars and extras influence my ability to connect with hope, happiness and moments of bliss, or how might they distract from it?
What soundtrack is playing in your movie?
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